Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize