Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
