these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
