i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
