Sponge bath it is.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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