so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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