My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
