i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
