I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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