I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
