This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
This is my gift to your gina
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize