u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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