last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
