the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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