Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
