just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
