It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
