the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
