No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize