oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
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