i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
