You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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