how can u be prego again
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
