Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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