I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize