I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
