I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
