I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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