i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
