Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
splinters make it hard to masturbate
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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