i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
