I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I had to cum in my sink.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
