ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
