Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
