DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
