omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
