it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
