You're so nebulous sometimes
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
