New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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