Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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