If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
