you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
