I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
