I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
