I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
