I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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