If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
