just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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