I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
sarcasm needs its own font
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
