hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
