whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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