You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
