someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Terrible idea I love it
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
