Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
only if we run a train.
done.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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