no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
