Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
