yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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