I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
